also had a dream that Colin and I sat down and negotiated a plan to quit smoking.

I have benifits now for the first time in 7 years. I joined the rec center and found two places to hike winnie off leash.

lots of family dreams. Normal I guess, given the move back here.
Dream that I am with Colin and he takes me to an alter he's built to show me that he got his degree in physics. I am very happy for him and we celebrate.
I tell him that I worried he wouldn't make it since he isolated so much and went through hard times over his losses.
We are lovers in this dream.

Dream Casey takes me to the basement of his Mom's house and she has painted it sky blue in prep. for moving. Casey and I talk about her inner strength to get so much done since her husband just died.
In the bedroom is a young woman who is in bed and is tired. I give her a back rub and she feels better.
Casey and I are lovers in this dream too.

I am with Matthew and he has a bunch of puppies running around the house. He is trying to get rid of them.

I am in some kind of sacred church for shaman's. I want some help with a problem and I am having a hard time speaking.  A shaman comes to find out what I want and helps me to speak. He does something each time I talk that allows me to see color patterns each time I try and talk. The colors are so beautiful that I want to see more. I finally speak loud and clearly and see a beautiful mandalla in front of me.
Then he attaches something to my back via my spine. It's something I am to use to solve problems in the future for myself and others.

Dream of some young men in a tribe that have to eat the bodies of their dead fathers to become men.

Dream I am with Dad and some women are sitting around talking about how hard it was to live with their fathers. I look at Dad and we share a knowing smile. We worked hard and we know it.

not  many dreams. One about Bo living out of a box. I found my crystal in his box and put it away for safe keeping.
One about Colin.. working on some project.

Moved into my new house and have begun work.

having animus dreams.
Kinlock and Colin. Colin looking for work and cut all his hair off. This one a bit different. We are not in love but we are close. Very loving and tender with each other.

Kinlock says hes glad I love him so and lays in my arms. Again, very tender dream.
Both similar men. Logical, intelligent, emotionally reserved. Both intent on doing what they love and doing it well.

I am to pick a fairy tale.
Mine has always been beauty and the beast. The first one I saw was in black and white. I think it was the most magical thing I'd seen. Esp. when the beast spins slowly up into the air in a white light sort of deal and transforms.
I sort of missed him.
Didn't matter in the end what he was. What mattered was what was in his heart.
Totally related to the fears and pains he expressed through withdrawl and anger. And also to his coming back into his own tenderness.
The girl I also related to in that it takes me awhile sometimes to look within the person. And hope to make a truthful loving decision in the end.  Or ..look within an issue and take a stand.


I think this is very much a part of shadow work.

found a wonderful book called "Dancing in the Dragon's Den"
about shadow and creativity.
I am especially interested in the the creative work that goes into embracing the shadow aspects and finding their beauty.
Especially since these images are repulsive. But they make me laugh sometimes too.
I am curious about how the shadow figures can also be ally's or anima/animus figures as well. Like my dragons.
But these days I'm dreaming more of pitiful homeless creatures. Kind of wild and hungary.
a few months ago I had a dream about a homeless woman who lived in a barn and she just sat next to this dead girl -  trying to keep her body from falling apart. She would not accept that this girl was dead. I had this dream after reading " Meeting the Mad Woman".. another jungian sort of book on archetypes.
Then there are the disabled men. Really stupid, big and clumsy..that are looking for food.

I have had the wonderful experience of feeding these guys. And they transform. Same with the barn woman. I took her by the hand and told her she needed to leave and 'clean house'. She did.. and we entered a huge house and began to clean it.

So I have this book and it is a creative play on how to identify shadow aspects. Some of these I'm already familiar with.
I love the detective work of dark dreams. I know theres more going on and theres a doorway in these eventually. I don't understand why people who know and study Jung would want to avoid these dreams.
The dream about Bo and Dad was horrible. But as I researched it and internalized this information, it gave me a new doorway to how I approach Gabe and it gave me a stronger awareness of what I believe and why it's so important to hold onto this.
this is invaluable to me. I've floundered with him.. uncertian of how to respond ..and fearful about projecting my feelings about bo and dad - onto him.

I think it's delightful work.
Maybe because I've spent my life working with "disabled" people. and in so many ways I find the outcast's  indearing-full of worldly wisdom and very lovable.

dream I am driving somewhere and notice a german shepherd in a dog run who is wounded. He has a hurt foot. I turn around and go back to get the address to report it to animal abuse. Then I am in a stable type area and there is a small male colt who is starving and has been seperated from his parents. Someone says that his father is too old to care for but was worth 10,000 dollars once. I tell them that what matters now is his son, the colt. I yell to the horsemen and three come to save the baby horse. The night before this irl I was watching a commercial for beer that had some beautiful draft horses in it. There was a young colt who wanted to be a coors draft horse and the caption was about dreams coming true or something like that.

dream I have moved in with my family who just bought an old estate. the 'bedroom' I pick is in a small building in the courtyard and there are other buildings that go along with my area. A garden and greenhouse, a small cottage, and stuff I don't remember. I am curious to go traveling through the areas. A japanese woman and man arrive. They are the king and queen and are about to be married. I am distracted by my new living space and say Hi and take off. I go through an old storage area and my Mom is there too. I find old art I've done and other things. I decide to leave because there are spiders everywhere. I go outside and an american indian man put's his head up through this hole in the ground ( he's been fixing something) and hands me a buffalo dance mask to take to the house. I take it and notice it could have spiders on it. then it turns into a turtle mask. I drop it to get the spiders off and pick it back up and run to the house. As I do it cleans it's self off and I see that it is a mask of the goddess Kwan Yin. It's a light lavander now and the reverse side is light white silk with tiny pink roses. I show it to the young bride to be and she sais ' see?" Then I realize this woman is actually the young queen to be. She has left and is going home with her young king. I run down to the procession and I stop them. I reach up to the woman and tell her I realize her visit was important and that I did not mean to be disrespectful but that I was exploring and was not quite my self 'these days'. I tell her I think she's beautiful. she reaches down and takes my hands. She tells me she is grateful I told her that, and takes my hand. She says ' we will be friends now". Both she and her husband to be smile and are glad to know that I understand the protocol for their country and thier royal status. She has a dress on that is stunning. It's lavander silk with small milky white roses all over it. She also has beautiful silk robes around her as does her man. The inside of her dress is milky white with small pink roses. The dress is the same as the Kwan Yin mask.

throw the I-Ching.. think about my dreams and the intuitive. Listening carefully to what messages may come my way through paying attention to energy. Dreams - also in the hard labor dream, a man resting in a grocery store. I ask him if he's ok and someone says ' he's very tired and he's resting" hard labor, resting, negotiating in traffic, can't go back and get old clothes, let them go, Dylan - mature animus figure - his intent is to play and enjoy. Colin - animus figure of the same age - we work together as a team - I get him out of "someone else's dirty water" and he assists me in having the courage to fish. large green fish. I release it and think it's kind of weird looking anyway but it comes from the deepest part of that beautiful water. Those men, tell me 'don't cast into the rushing waters, go where the water moves slow and deep" It works. colin and I both build the alter in the sun together. team work. Tired mother dog, tired mother - both just given birth tired man in grocery store, tired woman who just cant deliver any more babies. streight jacket - extremely tired and tied down. Can't move and am too tired to care. I do get out however. how? it was in my wanting to help the three women out of my ethical ire. getting their identies off that dirty floor and giving them back. who are they? what is this process. What is the light in this dark.. the gold. Which way to I turn .. to the left.. into the self awesome job opportunity - makes me tired to just think about it. working with abandoned and neglected animals in "head start" to retrain sounds wonderful wonderful .. not enough money.